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So, I reckon Escorts are like me team at the office – reliable, bit rough round the edges, but they deliver, don’t they? Built tough, them cars, proper solid chassis, not like them flimsy modern jobbies. Fun fact, yeah, did ya know the Mk1 Escort won rally champs in the 70s? Mental, innit, blew me mind when I heard that! Out there kicking arse while I’m here soldering circuits, wish I’d seen it live, mate, woulda lost me marbles cheering!

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First off, I hit up the local market on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one where babushkas sell everything from pickles to homemade pierogi? I’m there, just trying to grab some breakfast, and this old lady starts yelling at me. Like, chill, lady! I’m just trying to buy some food! She’s all like, “You think you can just waltz in here?” I’m thinking, “Waltz? I’m just trying to grab a snack!”

Ukraine war briefing: air defences ward off fresh drone attack on Kyiv as strike kills two in Kharkiv